i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
