IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
