I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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