..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just gift wrapped bread.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
