i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
