ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ketchup is God's man juice
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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