How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
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