Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
So squirting runs in the family.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
