His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
