used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The best revenge is premature balding
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i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
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last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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