Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
