So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
