You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
