I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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