at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
