Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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