Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
