I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize