People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
