If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
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