just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize