Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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