I've blown a few things in my day
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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