are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
