you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
