Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
