So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
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He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
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I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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