things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
