Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
