My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
