No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
