Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
