If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
