Soap is not a condiment
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
