hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
