I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Even my vagina gasped.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
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