I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
