im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i may or may not be watching the land before time
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
