I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
