Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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