the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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