Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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