Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He better not be in your backpack
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need to calm my uterus...
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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