my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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