Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Randomize
