I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
