I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
