you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
