She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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