meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
