is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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