I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
