i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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