my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize