??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
