Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
