Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
