YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
