I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You ruined the universe
Randomize
