I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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