yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
