That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
