But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
