3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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